Non-Verbal Communication: Dress Your Way to the Top

Are there any clothes that are always inappropriate or any rules that always apply to dressing for work?

Do not wear clothing that you would wear on social occasions. Be careful of low necklines and unbuttoned shirts. Clothes that are too tight or too fitting are inappropriate – especially if you are not in shape. Keep your wardrobe updated, even if it is just with accessories. No themed clothing (i.e., Western/cowboy). Don’t be too monochromatic… add some color. No overly expensive clothing or designer bags, and definitely don’t brag about what labels you are wearing. Not only is this good manners, but you don’t want your boss to think you have so much disposable income that you don’t need a raise or promotion.

What are some good sources for advice about work clothes? What are some sources to avoid?

Books: Beyond Business Casual: What to Wear to Work if you Want to Get Ahead –Ann Sabath & What Not to Wear for Work! Dressing for Failure – John Carter. Also, it never hurts to ask your boss or mentor. Don’t get advice from the sales person at your favorite boutique!

When is it dangerous to be too conservative in what you wear at work?

If you are working in a creative environment, you don’t want to be overly conservative. (PR firms, marketing companies, dotcoms). Also, if you are usually a casual dresser and come in wearing a suit, your boss and co-workers will probably think you are interviewing for a new job.

Should the workplace be allowed to dictate that women wear makeup or men have certain types of facial hair? When does dress code cross the line?

This issue has gone to court several times. Companies have a right to dictate the appearance of those individuals meeting the public on behalf of a company. For instance, airline ticket counter employees, customer service representatives, people in outside sales are all subject to a company standard. Disney is one company who regulates the appearance of all employees from those sweeping the park to sitting in the corporate offices.

How do you handle an employee who walks the line – i.e., is technically within dress code but looks terrible or too sexy?

Talk to the employee. Let him or her know that wardrobe choices are important to both career and company image. As far as I can tell, far fewer people are held back in their careers for being conservative dressers than for being wacky dressers. If you aren’t sure that your outfit would be allowed under the dress code, don’t wear it. Work isn’t the place to experiment.

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Love in the Workplace

Business people spend the majority of their waking hours at work, so it’s not surprising when romance is sparked at the office. Sometimes the couple does a good job of keeping the relationship low-key; but other times, sparks of another type can fly if the romance hits a rocky point or if it starts to affect performance. It may become necessary for management to intervene in order to prevent widespread damage. Office relationships can take several forms, and each has different implications for the company as a whole.

Relationships affect others

Take the case of an extramarital affair. It doesn’t matter if one or both parties are married, but assume the relationship is consensual.

Sally is a vice president of sales with the company, and she has been involved with Paul, who is a sales representative working on her team. They tried to keep the affair secret, but rumors have started to fly. Some sales representatives on Sally’s team have suggested that Paul is getting preferential treatment. Others have implied that Paul is not pulling his weight on the team, yet he is in line for a promotion.

Because the relationship is affecting others in the company, it’s time to step in. The boss should confront Sally first, because she holds the senior position. If the two are peers, the boss should talk to them together.

This is not to imply that only Sally is to blame, but as a supervisor in the company, she has more potential to have a negative impact on others, especially those under her management.

Don’t rely on rumors

Before the confrontation, assemble all your facts. You should be able to cite specific ways in which the affair has affected performance; don’t just repeat rumors. Sometimes an affair between a boss and a subordinate leads to favoritism. But, often just as damaging, the perception of preferential treatment can hurt the morale of the team.

Make it clear that if performance between the two or those under Sally’s supervision continues to slip because of the affair, someone may be terminated. In a case where extreme damage already has been done, termination may be your only choice. If, for example, Sally overlooked Paul’s mistakes on an account because of their relationship, which in turn cost the company a customer, it may be too late to repair the damage. During your meeting with one or both parties, discuss only the specific work performance issues – you should not make any judgments about the relationship.

If romance blossoms between two single people in the office, it tends not to have as broad an impact as a hidden affair. But that’s just a generalization. There still can be challenges. For example, Fred and Ginger meet at work, start dating and enter into a serious relationship. If they work in the same department, or one is the other’s superior, you can have the same accusations of favoritism as discussed before. If so, you need to address it with the couple to be sure performance isn’t affected.

Make the policy clear

In this litigious society, some companies are instituting what’s known as a “consensual relationship agreement.” This is signed by both parties and put on file to show that both entered into the relationship willingly. The signed agreement can protect the individuals and the company from later charges of harassing activity.

If Fred and Ginger decide to get married, the company may face another dilemma. If the company has a policy against nepotism, one of the two may have to find another job. If a reporting relationship is involved, the company may choose to transfer either Fred or Ginger to another department. The company’s role is to make the policies clear to all employees so there is no surprise when a decision must be made. That is to say, you need a written policy in effect long before you ever need to implement it.

Regardless of the type of romance, there cannot be inappropriate behavior in the workplace. This is especially true if one employee is making unwanted advances on another. Sexual harassment is a serious issue, and one that must be dealt with using a pre-established policy. It is the company’s responsibility to educate employees on whom to notify in the event of harassment.

What do you think about love in the workplace? Have you ever been involved in an office romance? How did you handle it?

Photo by Tobyotter

Groundhog Day at the Office

Punxsutawney Phil, the famous shadow-seeking groundhog in Pennsylvania, came out of his hole today and saw his shadow. While tradition dictates that this means six more weeks of winter, there are a lot of lessons for the workplace on Groundhog Day that have nothing to do with the weather.

Being Afraid of Your Shadow: The Risks of Not Taking Action at Work

The groundhog steps into the spotlight once a year, but real life doesn’t usually follow a schedule. Everyone can be in the spotlight in their jobs, but you may never know when that spotlight is going to shine on you. If you do excellent work every day, you are always ready when the light hits you.

When the groundhog comes out of his hole, he takes a big risk. He never knows what to expect waiting for him, but he still comes out of his house. We all have opportunities to take risks in our career. And, just as Mr. Groundhog doesn’t always see his shadow, you may not be successful when you take a risk. The key to making risk work for you is how you handle the situation when you don’t meet expectations. Keep your boss informed appropriately, and you’ll be able to get extra support. Most importantly, if you are not successful, don’t let it destroy your self-confidence.

Repeating Your Mistakes: How to Stop Making the Same Mistakes Over and Over Again

Everyone makes mistakes. Making one mistake is not a career-buster. Making the same mistake multiple times can be bad. To prevent this from tanking your career, evaluate why you made the mistake. If it was for a technical reason, ask for training and study on your own. Ask a friend for help. If your mistake was for another reason, be honest with yourself and don’t blame others. Ask yourself objectively if you are capable of doing this kind of work and if you have enough motivation to learn the skills needed for the job.

Outcomes You Can’t Control: How to Handle Things You Can’t Impact at Work

While most of your work is predictable, there are always situations you cannot control. How you prepare for and handle these situations is the key to your success.

Try to be proactive. If possible, forecast situations you can’t control, like sabotage, office politics, or economic conditions in your industry. Always keep your antenna up if someone is out to get you. Usually this person has a reputation of doing this to others. If it is politics, make sure you are being protected by your boss and have friends that have input on how to handle the situation.

If economic conditions in your industry are bad, assess whether your job is at risk in the event of a company layoff. It may be time for you to look in another industry – who needs your skills?

When something happens at work that you can’t impact, how you respond is critical. Make sure your boss is informed and knows why you think it happened. Get advice on how to handle the situation; you will find out quickly if your boss is supporting you.

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Dealing with Conflict at Work

The workplace is often the greatest source of conflict in our lives. While confrontation can be scary (and risky) sometimes you just have to face a situation head-on. Here are some of the most common questions about conflict and confrontation at work.

Dealing with Office Gossip

1. What are some ways employees can manage/interact with the office grapevine successfully?

Have your ear to the ground because you need to know what’s being said, whether it’s true or untrue. The fastest mode of communication is inner-offer gossip, and a company’s intra-net (email, chat, etc.) enhances the speed. Know who the biggest gossipers are, who has the biggest mouths, and use that knowledge to your advantage. For example, use the grapevine to get the message out that someone was fired for stealing, and you’ll notice a decrease in theft.

2. What should an employee do if he or she is the victim of untrue gossip or speculation?

If you know the source, you have two options. First, you could go to the source, play dumb/naïve, and say, “Did you know there’s a rumor that I…? Can you believe it? Here’s the proof it’s not true.” OR, you can confront the issue with the source, as in, “I know you’ve been saying X about me, and these people can testify that you said it. Do we need to go see the boss about this, or will you stop saying it?” In either case, be brave enough to confront the issue immediately, and you will nip it in the bud.

3. What are some tips for avoiding office gossip?

Know who the bad-mouthers are and be friendly to them. Be careful what you say, but make sure they think that you’re friends. If you’re in management, you have a responsibility to try to eliminate as much gossip as you can. If someone is a frequent offender, discipline them. Have a policy about gossip, and outline the repercussions.

When Your Boss Steals Your Idea

1. What should an employee do if her boss steals an idea she came up with? Does this change if the idea thief is a co-worker? If so, why?

If it’s a co-worker, deal with it the same as a gossiper – confront them with proof that it was your idea. Say, “I’m going to my boss to prove this was my idea. Do you want to go with me?”

If it is your boss, hopefully you have proactively emailed your boss’s boss. Go to the boss (with a different tone of voice) and say, “I’m confused and wondering why people don’t know I initiated the idea. Can you help me understand?” Another good approach is to play dumb and say, “I’m afraid if I don’t get credit for this work it will hold me back. Can you help me?”

Whatever the case: BE PROACTIVE. DON’T BE NAÏVE. The most frequent area that we executive coach is conflict avoidance. When people are mistreated, they often won’t have the conflict necessary to protect themselves. Immediately go to the person – don’t wait! HAVE GUTS.

2. Describe a few strategies employees can use to avoid having their ideas stolen.

Prevent it by passwording all information you’re working on for a project. When you have an idea that could be stolen, email the information out and copy your boss, a peer, or your boss’s boss to document that it’s your idea. Also talk about it in meetings proactively. Most idea-thieves will go steal from someone else if you are known to document everything.

When You are Fast-Tracked and Your Boss is Not

1. What behaviors should employees engage in when they are considered "fast-tracked" and their boss is not?

Avoid bragging or sharing information that makes you look good, don’t name drop, and compliment your boss. Give your boss one or two ideas that will make her look good (not the plum ideas, but something that will help). Ask to help out when needed (stay late), thank him for his support, and introduce her to other people in the company that might help her.

If your boss accuses you of sabotaging him, immediately deny it and say you will help in any way you can. But, at the same time, go to your sponsor/mentor, HR, or your boss’s boss and explain what happened.

2. What behavior should employees avoid? Why?

Don’t avoid conflict but don’t lose your temper. If you lose your temper and are accused of being unprofessional, you will never be able to prove otherwise or get out of it.

Photo by markusthorsen

Haiti: Lessons for Charity at Work

The devastation in Haiti as a result of a massive 7.0 earthquake has resulted in a death toll that is 70,000 and counting. When disasters happen, we often feel powerless to help. And in a struggling economy, charities have fewer resources than ever. There are several reputable organizations doing work in Haiti, and I encourage you to help however you can.

Many businesses take pride in the volunteer work of their employees, and others participate in fundraising drives for non-profits. However your company prefers to get involved, here are some Dos and Don’ts to consider.

Do:

- Get involved to show team spirit.

- Get involved with causes you are interested in so you will enjoy it more.

- Support the company effort as you would other company goals.

- Be careful in turning down an opportunity to support a charity if you feel it is not in line with your beliefs/interest or if it is too controversial.

Don’t:

- Over commit yourself – you will resent it.

- Appear that you are doing this for office politics only.

- Overly brag like you are the reason the project is successful.

- Require your employees to participate in a charity if they do not want to.

Organizations working to help in Haiti:

Partners in Health

Red Cross

Doctors Without Borders