The workplace is often the greatest source of conflict in our lives. While confrontation can be scary (and risky) sometimes you just have to face a situation head-on. Here are some of the most common questions about conflict and confrontation at work.
Dealing with Office Gossip
1. What are some ways employees can manage/interact with the office grapevine successfully?
Have your ear to the ground because you need to know what’s being said, whether it’s true or untrue. The fastest mode of communication is inner-offer gossip, and a company’s intra-net (email, chat, etc.) enhances the speed. Know who the biggest gossipers are, who has the biggest mouths, and use that knowledge to your advantage. For example, use the grapevine to get the message out that someone was fired for stealing, and you’ll notice a decrease in theft.
2. What should an employee do if he or she is the victim of untrue gossip or speculation?
If you know the source, you have two options. First, you could go to the source, play dumb/naïve, and say, “Did you know there’s a rumor that I…? Can you believe it? Here’s the proof it’s not true.” OR, you can confront the issue with the source, as in, “I know you’ve been saying X about me, and these people can testify that you said it. Do we need to go see the boss about this, or will you stop saying it?” In either case, be brave enough to confront the issue immediately, and you will nip it in the bud.
3. What are some tips for avoiding office gossip?
Know who the bad-mouthers are and be friendly to them. Be careful what you say, but make sure they think that you’re friends. If you’re in management, you have a responsibility to try to eliminate as much gossip as you can. If someone is a frequent offender, discipline them. Have a policy about gossip, and outline the repercussions.
When Your Boss Steals Your Idea
1. What should an employee do if her boss steals an idea she came up with? Does this change if the idea thief is a co-worker? If so, why?
If it’s a co-worker, deal with it the same as a gossiper – confront them with proof that it was your idea. Say, “I’m going to my boss to prove this was my idea. Do you want to go with me?”
If it is your boss, hopefully you have proactively emailed your boss’s boss. Go to the boss (with a different tone of voice) and say, “I’m confused and wondering why people don’t know I initiated the idea. Can you help me understand?” Another good approach is to play dumb and say, “I’m afraid if I don’t get credit for this work it will hold me back. Can you help me?”
Whatever the case: BE PROACTIVE. DON’T BE NAÏVE. The most frequent area that we executive coach is conflict avoidance. When people are mistreated, they often won’t have the conflict necessary to protect themselves. Immediately go to the person – don’t wait! HAVE GUTS.
2. Describe a few strategies employees can use to avoid having their ideas stolen.
Prevent it by passwording all information you’re working on for a project. When you have an idea that could be stolen, email the information out and copy your boss, a peer, or your boss’s boss to document that it’s your idea. Also talk about it in meetings proactively. Most idea-thieves will go steal from someone else if you are known to document everything.
When You are Fast-Tracked and Your Boss is Not
1. What behaviors should employees engage in when they are considered "fast-tracked" and their boss is not?
Avoid bragging or sharing information that makes you look good, don’t name drop, and compliment your boss. Give your boss one or two ideas that will make her look good (not the plum ideas, but something that will help). Ask to help out when needed (stay late), thank him for his support, and introduce her to other people in the company that might help her.
If your boss accuses you of sabotaging him, immediately deny it and say you will help in any way you can. But, at the same time, go to your sponsor/mentor, HR, or your boss’s boss and explain what happened.
2. What behavior should employees avoid? Why?
Don’t avoid conflict but don’t lose your temper. If you lose your temper and are accused of being unprofessional, you will never be able to prove otherwise or get out of it.
Photo by markusthorsen
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