Dealing with Conflict at Work

The workplace is often the greatest source of conflict in our lives. While confrontation can be scary (and risky) sometimes you just have to face a situation head-on. Here are some of the most common questions about conflict and confrontation at work.

Dealing with Office Gossip

1. What are some ways employees can manage/interact with the office grapevine successfully?

Have your ear to the ground because you need to know what’s being said, whether it’s true or untrue. The fastest mode of communication is inner-offer gossip, and a company’s intra-net (email, chat, etc.) enhances the speed. Know who the biggest gossipers are, who has the biggest mouths, and use that knowledge to your advantage. For example, use the grapevine to get the message out that someone was fired for stealing, and you’ll notice a decrease in theft.

2. What should an employee do if he or she is the victim of untrue gossip or speculation?

If you know the source, you have two options. First, you could go to the source, play dumb/naïve, and say, “Did you know there’s a rumor that I…? Can you believe it? Here’s the proof it’s not true.” OR, you can confront the issue with the source, as in, “I know you’ve been saying X about me, and these people can testify that you said it. Do we need to go see the boss about this, or will you stop saying it?” In either case, be brave enough to confront the issue immediately, and you will nip it in the bud.

3. What are some tips for avoiding office gossip?

Know who the bad-mouthers are and be friendly to them. Be careful what you say, but make sure they think that you’re friends. If you’re in management, you have a responsibility to try to eliminate as much gossip as you can. If someone is a frequent offender, discipline them. Have a policy about gossip, and outline the repercussions.

When Your Boss Steals Your Idea

1. What should an employee do if her boss steals an idea she came up with? Does this change if the idea thief is a co-worker? If so, why?

If it’s a co-worker, deal with it the same as a gossiper – confront them with proof that it was your idea. Say, “I’m going to my boss to prove this was my idea. Do you want to go with me?”

If it is your boss, hopefully you have proactively emailed your boss’s boss. Go to the boss (with a different tone of voice) and say, “I’m confused and wondering why people don’t know I initiated the idea. Can you help me understand?” Another good approach is to play dumb and say, “I’m afraid if I don’t get credit for this work it will hold me back. Can you help me?”

Whatever the case: BE PROACTIVE. DON’T BE NAÏVE. The most frequent area that we executive coach is conflict avoidance. When people are mistreated, they often won’t have the conflict necessary to protect themselves. Immediately go to the person – don’t wait! HAVE GUTS.

2. Describe a few strategies employees can use to avoid having their ideas stolen.

Prevent it by passwording all information you’re working on for a project. When you have an idea that could be stolen, email the information out and copy your boss, a peer, or your boss’s boss to document that it’s your idea. Also talk about it in meetings proactively. Most idea-thieves will go steal from someone else if you are known to document everything.

When You are Fast-Tracked and Your Boss is Not

1. What behaviors should employees engage in when they are considered "fast-tracked" and their boss is not?

Avoid bragging or sharing information that makes you look good, don’t name drop, and compliment your boss. Give your boss one or two ideas that will make her look good (not the plum ideas, but something that will help). Ask to help out when needed (stay late), thank him for his support, and introduce her to other people in the company that might help her.

If your boss accuses you of sabotaging him, immediately deny it and say you will help in any way you can. But, at the same time, go to your sponsor/mentor, HR, or your boss’s boss and explain what happened.

2. What behavior should employees avoid? Why?

Don’t avoid conflict but don’t lose your temper. If you lose your temper and are accused of being unprofessional, you will never be able to prove otherwise or get out of it.

Photo by markusthorsen

Haiti: Lessons for Charity at Work

The devastation in Haiti as a result of a massive 7.0 earthquake has resulted in a death toll that is 70,000 and counting. When disasters happen, we often feel powerless to help. And in a struggling economy, charities have fewer resources than ever. There are several reputable organizations doing work in Haiti, and I encourage you to help however you can.

Many businesses take pride in the volunteer work of their employees, and others participate in fundraising drives for non-profits. However your company prefers to get involved, here are some Dos and Don’ts to consider.

Do:

- Get involved to show team spirit.

- Get involved with causes you are interested in so you will enjoy it more.

- Support the company effort as you would other company goals.

- Be careful in turning down an opportunity to support a charity if you feel it is not in line with your beliefs/interest or if it is too controversial.

Don’t:

- Over commit yourself – you will resent it.

- Appear that you are doing this for office politics only.

- Overly brag like you are the reason the project is successful.

- Require your employees to participate in a charity if they do not want to.

Organizations working to help in Haiti:

Partners in Health

Red Cross

Doctors Without Borders

Preparing for Your Annual Review

Everyone wants to earn more money. If you work hard all year and meet the performance goals that your boss has set for you, you deserve a higher salary. But when the moment of reckoning arrives – the annual performance and compensation review – many employees approach it with a sense of dread and fear.

Few people are comfortable talking about their compensation. Even the best negotiators may handle reviews poorly and sell themselves short. Keep these tactics in mind and your annual review can be a lot easier, and – hopefully – more rewarding:

Practice negotiating your review with a friend or in front of a mirror. Even better, record yourself on audio tape or videotape so you can review yourself and polish the presentation.

Match your boss’s communications style. How does your boss usually communicate with you? Does he like to put things in writing or does he tend to communicate verbally? Make your boss comfortable by utilizing the style he prefers.

Use the sandwich technique if you feel you deserve a pay increase. State your accomplishments for the year. State your salary request. Then close out quickly summarizing what you’ve done, followed by what you plan to do in the year ahead.

State accomplishments by quantifying them. Use concrete figures: percentages, dollars, numbers or time frames. Most people don’t like to brag, but your review is not the time for humility. Take credit for what you’ve worked hard to achieve.

Keep a list or a drop file of your accomplishments. Few people do this during the year; if you haven’t, then this actually is a step for next year. Many people only think of what they’ve done one or two months before their review. A year is a long time and it’s only natural that the things you accomplished nine or 10 months ago won’t be remembered as well by your boss. It’s up to you to keep the kind of detailed record that will allow you to gently jog her memory.

What if you have a marginal year? You’ve stayed out of trouble, but you haven’t exactly been your company’s star. Stress what you did accomplish and discuss unfinished business as if it is something firmly under control and that will be completed. Certainly, don’t whine, but if there were reasons you didn’t accomplish as much as you would have liked, bring that into the discussion. Really, the tone should be that despite extenuating circumstances, you were still able to do so much.

If you don’t have good explanations for you lackluster year, however, don’t harangue your boss with weak arguments for a raise. You may already be on thin ice, don’t make the situation worse.

Whatever your negotiating position, prepare carefully. Remember, a poor review can do more than limit your raise – it can damage your career.

Photo by laverrue

How to Ask for a Raise

This economy has been tough. Not only have record numbers of employees lost their jobs, but annual merit and cost of living increases have been frozen in many industries. At the same time, companies are squeezing as much profit as they can out of products, offering fewer diapers per pack for the same price, or increasing the cost per pound of apples. Working Americans are stuck in the middle, and even the hardest-working, most talented employees may feel underpaid while at the same time thankful for their jobs. It’s a hard place to be.

So, how do you decide to ask for a raise? First, determine whether or not the raise is justified. Second, think about what’s causing you to ask.

Is a Raise in Order?

Make a list of reasons why you think it is justified. Document your long-term accomplishments and goals. You won’t get a raise just because you recently brought in one big sale or finished one significant project. The burden is on you to show an increase is in order.

Also, do some research. Consult salary surveys for your industry, both nationally and regionally. The labor market is changes quickly, so it’s important the data you pull is up to date. Furthermore, certain disciplines are especially in demand right now and therefore can demand higher compensation. Your industry trade association probably keeps salary data.

Why Are You Asking?

If you have recently taken on new debt (like a bigger house or boat) or had a child, you may be feeling the financial pinch. However, you can’t expect your company to finance your choices. Even if those are the real reasons why you’re asking, be sure that you can justify your request with performance-based data and salary comparisons.

Why You Might Get Turned Down

First, your employer will also do the research, and it may show that your current salary is fair and in line with your industry. Simple as that. So be sure you know.

Second, your accomplishments may not warrant it. One or two successes, no matter how significant, shouldn’t necessarily result in a raise. Your boss expects that level of performance consistently to justify increased compensation.

Third, your company may be willing to lose you. That’s hard to hear, but be sure that your boss isn’t going to call your bluff. Even if you have offers from other companies for more money, the boss won’t want to start a bidding war every time this happens, especially if you aren’t considered key to your company. Your loyalty may also be called into question based on your willingness to pursue outside opportunities. Only play that card if you really want to stay where you are but can’t afford to turn someone else down.

Fourth, your company may be hurting financially in ways you don’t realize. If you are aware of financial troubles, you’ll want to craft your pitch accordingly. Don’t give up a great raise in the long-term for a pittance right now.

What to Ask for if the Answer is No

If your boss says no, swallow your hurt and frustration before you respond. While you might feel angry in the moment, taking some time to carefully think through your response is the best way to maintain your professional image.

Ask your boss to clearly outline what expectations will result in a raise. Develop a three- or six- month plan that includes specific goals that must be met. In addition, have your boss talk you through your career path and future opportunities at that company. (Hint: if your boss can’t do that, it’s time to quietly start looking elsewhere.) Set a time to re-evaluate the situation in six months.

Photo by AMagill

Snow Day?

With a major winter storm moving its way across Atlanta this afternoon, it seemed an appropriate time to remind both businesses and employees of their responsibilities in bad weather.

For Businesses:

1. Create an emergency hotline. If you don't have one, add this to your action plan for the coming year. Create one place that every level of employee can go to find out if work will be canceled or impacted by inclement weather and other emergencies.

2. Be flexible. Give as much leeway as you can to allow your staff to work from home. While telecommuting may not be ideal in all situations for your business, you might be better off allowing it when schools are canceled and travel conditions are bad.

3. Plan ahead. If your business needs to operate regardless of the weather, put plans in place to manage for all types of conditions or to run on a skeleton crew if you can.

For Employees:

1. Be proactive. Make sure you know what your company's emergency plan is and what number to call to find out the latest news. Take the initiative to find out the information yourself, rather than relying on your boss to seek you out.

2. Plan for kids. Schools often close when businesses stay open. Establish a back-up plan for childcare and ask your boss about telecommuting when schools are closed. Don't assume that your workplace will give you the day off if your kids are out.

3. Be prepared. If you do have to work, make sure that your tools (ice scraper, umbrella, etc.) are at the ready. Set out everything you need the night before, and set your alarm early. Bad weather always equals a bad commute, so look like a rock star by still making it to work on time.

Whether you are a business-owner or an employee, take inclement weather seriously by preparing for it.

Photo by jpctalbot